“It’s a sensation of fullness and a feeling of pressure that permeates the whole pelvic area that’s intense and good,” says Mitchell. Ty Mitchell, a gay adult entertainer and writer of the “ First Openly Gay Book Club” newsletter explains why butt plugs are so pleasurable. “Have a glass of wine, smoke a little, light a candle, and turn on some sexy music.” “Masturbate or use a vibrator or your fingers to warm up your asshole.” She also recommends romancing yourself with ambiance for deeper relaxation. “Getting turned on first will help you relax,” says queer sex writer and influencer behind the account Molly-Margaret Johnson. Whether you’re new to anal penetration or not, it’s important to remember that it should never be painful. “People think that because they can handle a big penis or dildo in other parts of their bodies that they can handle anything, but that’s not true.” “It’s important to start small and use a lot of water-based lube (silicone can degrade your toys) so you’re not damaging anything,” says Gigi Engle, certified sexologist and author of All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life. Experts agree that a butt plug can enhance your sex life solo or with a partner, as long as you’re patient and properly prepared. So if you’ve always been curious about butt plugs, it’s never too late to explore new horizons. Jones specifically recommends glycerin-free lubes, like Astroglide Natural or Good Clean Love that won’t pull moisture away from your body.The pandemic-induced lockdown inspired all sorts of creative outlets for horniness: People are still having more phone sex, snapping artful nudes, and investing in vibrators. Note: Since lubrication is important for any anal play, you can check out our list of expert-recommended lubes here. “You want to work your way up by starting with fingers and butt plugs.” To find the best butt plugs out there, we asked seven experts to recommend their favorites - for beginners, experienced users, couples, and solo play. She recommends experimenting with butt plugs only when you’re totally calm, as people often hold tension in their lower back and butt muscles, which can make penetration uncomfortable.Įmily Morse, doctor of human sexuality and host of the SiriusXM Radio show and podcast Sex With Emily, says that butt plugs can also be useful in working up to having anal sex with a partner. “Anal penetration is about relaxation,” says Jacq Jones, a sex educator and owner of Baltimore’s Sugar shop. “If it hurts, that’s your body telling you to stop and slow down,” says Archie Bongiovanni, a sexual-health educator and events coordinator at the Minneapolis store Smitten Kitten. When you’re ready to start actually using a butt plug, either with a partner or on your own, it’s important to remember that it should never be painful. If you’re exploring outside of the shower, keep a damp cloth nearby in case you need to clean anything up.” “You could also explore butt play in the shower, where you and/or your partner are already in a space that makes for easy cleanup. If you’re concerned about cleanliness, “I recommend taking a shower and washing your ass really well before you start,” Whitney says. Prepping physically is more of a nonnegotiable. “Sex can happen so fast sometimes, and I love reminding folks to slow the pace a bit and begin foreplay outside of a sexual context,” they say. They recommend taking time to connect with yourself with acts of self-care, like a self-massage, breathwork, and setting the mood with candles and music. Prepping mentally for anal exploration is highly encouraged by Ev’Yan Whitney, a sexuality doula and author of Sensual Self. “The anal area has a high concentration of nerve endings that are stimulated by even the smallest butt plug.” “Start slow and small and use plenty of lube,” says Liz Goldwyn, founder of the sexual health education website and podcast The Sex Ed. While butt plugs might seem intimidating if you’ve never used one before, sex experts stress that with proper preparation, a little bit of patience, and a lot of lubrication, these toys can be a pleasurable addition to your sex life. Illustration: Chaimae Khouldi Photos: Retailers
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